I spent the festive season reading Jen Scotney’s book, Running Through the Dark: The Rise and Fall of an Ultrarunner. Here is my review of the book.
My thoughts: Running Through the Dark by Jen Scotney
If you are a runner, you will no doubt have suffered a period or two of injury. You will therefore know what it is like to be grounded from the activity that makes you happy. The idea that you might be injured or stopped in your tracks for too long is the stuff of nightmares for most runners, especially ultra-runners.
The focus of Jen Scotney’s book is the frustrations, due to to various health obstacles, of not being able to participate in a sport that she showed great early promise in.
Jen was a rising star of the UK’s ultrarunning scene, with podium places in the 108-mile Montane Winter Spine Challenger South and the 190-mile Northern Traverse.
She had ambitions to attempt an FKT for the 268-mile Pennine Way walking route, however a series of setbacks including career burnout and chronic fatigue meant she had to learn to find a new way of living adventurously.
In Running Through the Dark, she expansively describes her journey through several health issues, both mental and physical.
In addition, the book also explores broader issues such as childlessness, grief, depression and the power of exercise. She touches on jealousy and wonders out loud: “Why me?”
Jen writes with honesty, insight and, often, in despair. She doesn’t back off from explaining how the repeated frustrations of fatigue hugely affect her. Then, just as the reader thinks the fatigue may be waning, Jen is faced with a new problem with her knees.
She believes she needs to give up on her dreams, if only she knew how to achieve this, yet still find a way to access the joys of the great outdoors.
Unlike other similar books by runners, this is not a story with a big happy ending. Rather, it tells of Jen’s need to reframe her life and adventures according to her capabilities.
I would have liked to hear more about the positives. The book does give some insight into how she copes when she realises that running will not be her sole sporting outlet but I felt there was another couple of chapters to be written about this.
Jen has not fully recovered from her setbacks and she is not sure she ever will. She told me, when I asked, that she has now had two knee replacements but she is still in pain.
It takes time to fill the gap that running occupied in Jen’s life. It is the same for anyone who focuses on longer distance running; they live, breathe and make lots of plans for running adventures but when they can’t run they need to find other satisfying avenues and outlets.
The book makes a good start on explaining how Jen has found a way to do things in a different way – and still enjoy great adventures.
The overall effect of the book was to make me pause for thought. I was left thinking about what happens when a person focuses on one activity that they then can’t do to their own high levels of expectation.
It made me think about how important running and the great outdoors is to so many people and what they might need to do to reframe their goals if they are injured or become ill.
I wondered, too, about what happens when people end up defining themselves by one activity, rather than considering the bigger picture of life.
It also made me think a lot about my own outdoor aspirations and how, as I’ve aged, I have had to accept some physical limitations.
I think Jen’s story is ultimately of being brave and telling others about the tough times and not just celebrating the great times. If she wants to write a sequel, I would like to read it to find out what happened next. I am sure she will offer interesting insight about how to continue to feed a love for the hills and mountains while still being limited by various health barriers.
Running Through the Dark by Jen Scotney is well worth a read. Buy from VP Adventure Books. (Note, I receive a small commission for sale of VP books.)